- Anti Joke

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

What's brown and sticky A stick

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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