- Anti Joke

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

Everybody love food when they are hungry

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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