How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

Its behind you like if you looked behind

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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