There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

justin beiber sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +12

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops