a man walked into a bar....

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Pineapple.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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