why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Justin's life

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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my egg roll

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F? No k

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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