i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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