A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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matt is fat

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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silver bullet?

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What do you call a bear. Rob.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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