What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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