Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Yock

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops