Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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