what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops