Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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