SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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CHORGLUND

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops