What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Pickles are powerful

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops