How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

You're a fat chubby McChubchub fatty fatchub because your fat chubby McChubchubfattychub poop is on your fatty fat Mcphat face of fatchubness because you are the fatty lord of McChubby fat kings.

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

vote this down and i will DOX you

What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...