Hey how is your wife and my kids

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

How many light bulbs? 1

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

WNBA

Please don't shoot me

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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