they told me not to write here but i did

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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