There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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People are a lot like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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