* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Racial Equality

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

8================D-------- (.Y.)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops