A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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