Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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su algato es en fuego

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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