At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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race-car = rac-ecar

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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