A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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THe Election

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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