A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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i saw amango it splootered

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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