Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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This is a random Anti joke.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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