What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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