A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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It got hit by a rocket.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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