Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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One time i was sitting down

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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