Knock Knock Who's there? I am I am who? I am here to see you

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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They don't call it Bangkok for nothing.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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