What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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