Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

69

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops