What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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No it doesnt..

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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anti-joke.com

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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