2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops