What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

If life gives you lemonade.

What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

Connor is homosexuaI

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

Hi.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...