Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What's worse then your pets death? I don't know I asked you.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops