There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Why is jordan goldstein a fag cause he doesnt like my videos

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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