A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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women's rights

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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