What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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EGGPLANT

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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