whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Do you want to hear a shit joke? Stuart.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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