A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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