What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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