Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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I like doodle. XoXo Jamie

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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