Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Penis

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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minorities.....

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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