If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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ecks! why zee?

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Albert your flies undone.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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