A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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