- Anti Joke

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.