What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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hola said the chinese man

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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dry handjob

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops