what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops