What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

Did nims chinnie? Fins.

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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