What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between males and females? fe

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Connor is homosexuaI

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

thumb_up thumb_down +2

man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops